becoming a #flowerfarmer

A few days ago I was sitting eating my breakfast, minding my own business, scrolling through my facebook feed, when I came across a link to this post I wrote back at the end of December in 2014. Three years ago.

The post is called Finding Balance and it's very obviously coming from a place that's not.

Back then I felt completely overwhelmed by the needs of the girls on holidays, by the ridiculous amount of farm work, by the never ending house work and by the fact that there were so many demands on my time that I felt stifled and uncreative and uninspired. Gosh I remember that feeling so well.

Three years and 10 days later, at the start of this sparkling new year, the picture looks quite a bit prettier. 

This year so far, although busier than ever, I feel like I'm living a life that truly expresses who I am. 

While I did love parenting little kids, I feel like I'm much better with older. Parenting now mostly feels intuitive. It must help that I remember being their ages. And that they almost always sleep through the night.

Because they are gradually becoming more independent I feel like I've got a bit more head space and therefore more patience and time. I'm so interested in their issues, and watching them grow, and explore and become. And while there are definitely times when I would love to ship them all off to boarding school, at the moment the good times far outweigh the tough, and for that I am very grateful.

Yesterday I sent two of the three stories I'm writing for a publication off and got such lovely comments in return, with exclamation marks. Although I really badly wanted to write more this year, it's been such a long time since I've written anything other than this blog and I had lost a little bit of my confidence. To get such a lovely response back has really motivated me to write more. It's such a great feeling.

The next thing is that while this time of the year is still not conducive to getting big chunks of knitting or sewing done, somehow I feel like my creativity is woven into my whole life now and I do feel like I'm expressing that part of myself.

On Wednesday our friend Lou at the local nursery threw that purple leaved plant at us when we were leaving her shop. It's not going to survive here she called. Give it a big, long drink and it should come good.

Yesterday in the heat of the day I grabbed some cord my farmer boy had picked up at the hardware a few weeks before, some sticks from the forest, and macraméd up a plant hanger for it.

It's not quite the same as a pair of intricate colour-work socks or a lacy cardigan, but it feels a bit more practical and earthy and it fits right into my life and makes me happy every time I walk by it.

The changes we've made to our home over the past few months have also changed my life. Having a beautiful, sunny spot to sit in, walk through, and work in, is so good for my peace of mind and sense of self and how I want to live that I can't believe we didn't do it years ago.

Right now we're making some long tables and benches for a small gathering we're having here to celebrate my farmer boy's birthday. All the wood was milled on our farm from trees in our forest late last year. And where that table now stands used to be our carport and will soon be more garden, but until then...feast.

Which brings me to this morning.

This morning I picked my first ever order for a local wedding florist!! (And my farmer boy captured the moment!)

A few months ago I had a mad craving to start growing flowers. Me, who had only ever grown edibles in the 17 years I've been farming, became madly obsessed with pretty, colourful blooms.

So I bought a bunch of seeds online. I had no idea what would work in our climate, what would work as a cut flower, what would grow from seed, or where I really wanted to go with this flower farming thing. But slowly those seeds germinated and I planted them out. I still didn't really know how flowers like to be watered or what sort of soil they need to flourish, I just treated them like vegetables and hoped for the best.

And as each of those blooms started to form buds and then open their petals, I fell more and more in love. The colours and the shapes and the flowers and their leaves obsessed me. I want to know more and grow more.

Imagine my delight when I got that text yesterday asking for a bucket of zinnias for a weekend wedding!! I'm so excited I may have skipped up and down the rows.

I picked them this morning before the day warmed up and popped them in buckets of cold water in the shade; that's what flower farmers do I've read.

This Monday morning I'm starting a six week online flower farming course.

The work life balance thing is starting to feel like it could just be balanced.

And there's me again. Feeling fine and inspired on the fifth day of the new year. Wishing that I could hug that overwrought and overwhelmed Kate from 2014 tell her the stories I just told you. I wonder if she'd listen or if that place she was in was just too crowded to take on anything else. I'd offer to do her dishes and hang up her laundry but I'm ignoring my own so that doesn't make sense. Maybe a bunch of flowers would be better.

And one for you too!
Wishing you all a wonderful 2018!
May it be our most healthy and creative and peaceful one yet.

How are you feeling five days in to 2018?
Can you imagine giving up some of your veggie garden for blooms?
Is it HOT or COLD where you are?
Do you know what it is that really makes you happy?

Lots of love,

Kate x