taking my own advice

I am so much better at giving advice than taking it. Are you the same? I wonder if you are.

For example if you came to me and we sat down and you spoke to me about how you were feeling a bit strung out lately, nothing major but a bit depleted and like you were on the verge of not being very well, I would encourage you to look after yourself. To do something completely and only for yourself. And if possible to make it a bit of a treat.

I might talk to you about what would make you feel better, maybe an afternoon nap, or a walk around the lake, or a maybe even a massage. Then I would speak to you about how my farmer boy always reminds me that the people giving the safety demonstration on aeroplanes always tell you that in case of emergency you must place your own oxygen mask on before helping your loved ones with theirs. How can we help others to breathe if we can't breathe ourselves? We are no good to anyone if we aren't feeling good ourselves. We must help ourselves, look inwards and value what it is that we need. And we must honour and trust that feeling and act on it.

Last week on that day that I gave myself permission to stop for a while, I realised that I wasn't feeling all that balanced. Generally my pattern is to go-go-go until I am exhausted and fall in a heap for a bit, but this time I felt like I recognised the signs before hand.

I felt like I was on the edge of something with two choices. I could move forward full steam ahead, ignoring the way I was feeling, getting things done and hope for the best. Hope that I could maintain the pace, stay well and look after my family well. The other choice was to recognise that I wasn't feeling strong and to do something about it before I got sick, or got myself into some sort of drama, or just felt terrible.

See, I would have told you to help yourself by looking after yourself, but I myself would usually push on through. Push it all aside and go and stack some wood or bake a cake or something.

But for some still unknown to me reason, this time I felt the deep need to be kind to myself. This time instead of pulling on my boots and getting back to it, I made an appointment to go and see my Chinese doctor Andrea first instead.

I have no idea why taking a step to looking after myself felt so emotional but it did. I cried when I admitted to myself what I was doing.

And as I sat in my appointment describing how I'd been feeling, it suddenly occurred to me how detached I am from my body. How I only really look after myself when things are actually wrong. And how after growing three babies and mothering them for 14 years, I feel depleted and in need of some nourishing myself.

As soon as I'd admitted all that I felt better. Stronger. More grounded. I know that I know exactly how to look after myself, I just have to remember to do it. And I must do it so I can get everything I have to get done-done and to give myself the best chance I can to avoid something like the left breast thing happening again.

So this week to look after myself I am going to aim to;

• Find a few minutes to be in complete silence without distractions for a few minutes a day.
• Get rid of the guilt associated with doing the things I love and scedule in some knitting/crochet/sewing time.
• Take the homeopathics and Chinese herbs that I should be taking, I always have such good intentions.
• Start the day with a glass of luke warm water with lemon, cinnamon and honey.
• Walk.
• Tune in with my body and get out of my head sometimes.

I'm going to try my very best.

I hope you have a gorgeous week.

Big love xx