She's the boss.

Yesterday morning early, in those few precious moments between waking up and racing to the school gates finish line, I made a decision. I decided that for one whole day I would put all my own agendas aside and focus on Miss Pepper.

For one entire day I would forget the housework, put the patchwork dress pattern out of my head and ignore my computer. I would not wash, cook, knit, photgraph or write words unless she wanted to.

For one whole day I would follow her lead. She was the boss.

The usual 'you cut up bits of fabric into smaller bits so I can sew' or 'you help me fold the washing just so I can refold it when you're not looking' or 'you test every texta in the packet so I can answer emails' or 'you count the 50 stitches with me as I knit them off', patterns we have been getting into lately, have been making me impatient and her more demanding.

So for one day, Wednesday, I would be hers.

And it worked beautifully. We made up a musical in the bath, we built with blocks, we collected wood, we baked brownies, we read books and we learnt letters. And then she wanted to spell and build a farm on the ipad for a while, so I sat and knitted and folded washing quietly next to her until ballet time.

And we had a lovely day. And I didn't get impatient or feel like I had a zillion other things I should be doing, because I didn't.

And it made me think that I probably should spend more of our days completely focused on her.

And then I wondered about all those plans and ideas and words that got put off for the day yesterday. What happens to those ideas? If I stop thinking about the tea towels I want to make for our new stove will those plans disappear? If I quiet the voices to my Booba Lucy story I have in my head, will it vanish? If I squash my thoughts about stamps, will they fly away? If I stop thinking about planting onions and leeks, baking fruit bread, cutting floral squares and crocheting a blanket, will I become a Mum that sits on the couch and watches Oprah? Will those ideas ever come back to me?

I don't know. It's a scary thought though.

I think I need to work on balance. You'd think after almost twelve years at home with kids I'd have this sorted, but I so don't. One part of me is constantly panicking about her going to school in half a year and the other part is shrieking my to-do list at me.

Balance.
Breathe.
She's calling out for me to look at her block tower......................................................................
Here I come!


Do you balance?
Do you give up your ideas for theirs?
Do you know what happens to those ideas that aren't allowed to see the light?
Do you let them fold and then refold?
Do you sit for hours and play blocks even though there are a zillion projects calling your name?

Have fun out there. x